The five stages are a map, not a schedule. What grief often looks like in the first year and when talking to someone can help.
After a loss, people often feel they should be further along than they are. Friends return to normal life; the cards stop arriving; and you are still reaching for the phone to tell them something.
Grief is not a straight line. It can arrive as sadness, anger, numbness, relief or guilt, sometimes all in one afternoon. Anniversaries and smells and songs can ambush you months later. None of this means you are doing it wrong.
What helps is company without pressure: someone who is happy to hear the same story again and does not try to fix it. Many people find that a regular hour in which they do not have to look after anyone else is itself a relief.
If your grief feels stuck, if you cannot function at work or at home, or if you are having thoughts of not wanting to be here, please reach out to us, your GP or the Samaritans on 116 123.